MAD HEARTS: the blog

Last time I posted, I was on my way to Ecuador and excited to kick off the summer – little did I know what awaited me.  Ecuador was wonderful! It was everything I hoped it would be and so much more.  The night before we left, I was packing my bags and FaceTime-ing with my sister back home. She told me that she didn’t want to stress me out while I was away on vacation, but dad isn’t doing too good and he’s back at the hospital.  It wasn’t his or our first time through this drill. The hospital had become our second home by this point.  But little did I know that he would never come home again. It would be his last hospital visit.  He passed away two weeks later on August 3, 2014 at 5:00am and we were all there by his side: my mom, my sister, my brother and me. Even when I knew the prognosis wasn’t promising, there was no way to prepare myself for the terrible sense of loss that comes with losing a loved one, especially a parent.  He was one of my favorite people in this world: intelligent, wise, genuine, humble. He had so many amazing qualities and touched all those around him. The world lost one of the good ones that day.  I’m slowly trying to get back to a normal routine and continue living life to the fullest because I know he would’ve wanted that for me. For all of us. But life just isn’t the same without him. I miss him. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and wish he were still here to hug, kiss and tell him I love you at least one more time.  I’m not sure what happens after this life and before this experience, I never really gave it much thought. We all have our theories, but honestly, none of us really know what happens next. But my deepest wish is that wherever he is, there’s no more pain, no more suffering, no more hospital beds.

 To continue the circle, please be sure to stop by Sharon Covert’s blog for her take on this month’s theme.